= shouLd i oR shoulD't i =

so today will be my suckiest day ever :(
as i'm trying to control my emotion and tears..

righT noW.. i'm hearTbrokEn... upset.. veRY saD.. anGRY.. pisT.. feEling like to punCH SHAHRIL!!!

seriosly after what i have bought him... give him... organised things for him... does he appreciate it at all?

like i help his family when they moved.. when they celebrating hari raya... i went to buy stuff for them... give shahril and family allowance money... like i mean i'm the typical pity people... since my salary is high.. i just help him...

and noW he just make me cry and heartbroken??!

so what should i do? i'm scared to let go... really love him...

i just am confused and in tears in office now... what should i do??

i'm in the stage to kill myself.. stress aND depress..

all thanx to SHAHRIL...

i misH him so much yet he hurt me like this... help help help....

i need to get myself occupied...............

seriously i can't cry anymore cuz i'm hurt to to to much :'(

i just have to stop crying before i turn to blindness... i need my rescue team now...

" dear god... i'm not trying to be a bitch... but please put shahril name on your karma list the first in line.... as i'm heartbroken and sad sad now... i've cried the whole evening yesterday since 6 till 7.30pm... i have not eaten... i just have no mood to live anymore.... please make me strong and get me a cuter monkey that is not an asshole"